Inspired.

Every time I read a new post from patrickandashley.blogspot.com, I feel so inspired to write something. But every time I click on "New Post" my mind goes blank. I'm warning you all... it's a serious tear jerker. So for all of you who cry easily these days ( Tiff, Sunny, Brooke, Andrea, Kiley, Lexi, Jenni, Jessica, {holy cow, there's a lot of you!}) you have been warned!

Their story begins in early July... every time I read something new from them, I am amazed and in awe of how incredibly strong they are. Her most recent post is entitled "Gratitude" and in it she writes about a comment left on her blog that goes:

"Gratitude on a daily basis means we express appreciation for what we have now without qualification for what we had in the past or desire in the future."
(Robert D. Hales)

I had to read this a few times to really grasp the meaning. But, holy cow, how inspired is this quote?! When I think about it, I think of the different periods in our lives when we've had extra money at the end of the month. And the times when we didn't have enough. Earlier this year, Joe was out of work for almost 3 months! At the time, it was really hard to look at ourselves and come up with things we were grateful for. Of course we had ourselves and our children... I can only imagine what it must mean to people like Ashley and Patrick who have lost a child.

My favorite post she's done is titled, "Answers" (September 11). The first thing she says in this post is, "Have you ever had something you love more than life, ripped out of your arms?" I assumed she was talking about her late daughter. And she was... to an extent. But she was also comparing HER loss to her little girl's loss of her binky and how taking away Preslee's binky was for her own good. For those of you not wanting to read the entire post, she says:

"To be given the opportunity to be Preslee's mother was my gift, it was my binky. I was able to experience it for 18 months. Then, she was ripped away from me. I was left in a state of unbelief and in a world of pain. And because of my limited knowledge here on earth I cannot truly understand why.
As I stood on a chair in the middle of the hallway clutching her binky I began to cry. Then I began to sob. I felt my Heavenly Father's love so strongly. I finally understood what He has been trying to tell me for weeks. It's time for me to grow. It's for my own good. It's not an easy way to learn the lessons I need to, but it's necessary for my future. His love for me became so overwhelming. I understood it hasn't been easy for Him to watch Pat and I struggle."

I can't really say much more, except I have a lot of work to do, spiritually. Wow.